Being a new mother who has no prsctical emotional support is devastating. Some new mothers experience their new state of life in foreign lands, far away from their immediate support. Away from biological family and true friends. Leaving the new mom to deal with her transition alone.
The situation becomes even crueller when those who could be immediately available become crucifiers of the soul and steal away the joy that the new mom could be channelling to her newborn. Whereby they spread gossip and lies in attempting to make the new mom a bad person.
In Africa, a child is raised by the community. In this community, people are mostly genuine and trustworthy, and they usually know how to put the needs of the newborn first, also of the new mom. This usually lessens any potential stress to the new mom, allowing her transition to being a pure and happy moment.
People should generally act according to the new mom’s wishes as she is the one feeling the most intense pain and joy at the same time. She is the one experiencing the labour pains, the challenging delivery, and the anxiety about the health of the child.
However, in this world full of selfish and mean people, what others usually do is to steal away those few days of bonding between the mother and the child.
They make unnecessary visits to the home, crowding the emotional and physical space of the new mother. They make the experience to be about themselves and how they relate to the child. They do not care to think that the new mom needs at least the first 3 weeks to be alone with her newborn, to adjust, and to bond with her baby in an uninterrupted manner.
It is no surprise that many people around the world were shocked that Meghan and Harry wanted some privacy immediately after the birth of Archie. It is because many people are not accustomed to respecting privacy and boundaries. They feel entitled into the lives of others, without giving them space to adjust.
In 2020 going forward we hope for a better world. A world that respects other people’s space. A world that waits to be invited and not impose themselves onto the lives of others. A world that is pure and not full of pretence. A world where people are allowed to live their lives the way they want, as long they are doing so within the guidelines of the law.
Writer: Mitta Xinindlu